Becoming a mom has changed me in more ways than I can list.
I have realized that I am strongly opinionated on matters that I never even knew existed before; I have discovered that there truly is no "right way" to parent; I have found out that unsolicited advice spills from my mouth more than it should; and so much more.
But one thing I have yet to discover is how to stop comparing myself to other moms. I suppose I have had my fair share of self-confidence road blocks growing up and when I became pregnant with my daughter I figured that I had found my place: I was going to be the best mom anyone has ever seen. However, saying I'm going to be the best at something with so many variables is next to impossible (I've since found out). There are days when my kids stay in their pajamas and don't get their hair brushed. There are days when I feel like I do nothing but yell and then apologize for yelling. And there are certainly days that I feel like I need 10 extra arms and another 24 hours in a day to get done what I had on my to-do list. At the end of each day I assess my progress as a mother to decide if I succeeded or not in comparison to the other moms that surround me. "She never has dishes laying around her kitchen when I visit." "Her kids are always so well dressed." "At least my kid isn't as picky as hers." "blah blah blah."
When did it become a win/lose game to be a mom?
We need to stop sizing ourselves up with our friends, and our friends' parents, and our sisters, and our bible study, and our co-workers!
God did not design us all to be the same woman so why would he design us all to be the same mom and have us mimic our parenting?
Sure, there are families that I would like to model my parenting after because I see where they are now and I want my family to look somewhat like theirs someday. But I can't and won't make exactly the same choices that they made. My family will stay my family for it's quirky and unique reasons.
For better or for worse, I will continue trying to be the best mom that I can be and give myself a little grace. Just as God grants me grace each and every day when I continue to mess up. I am not perfect. (Who is?) But I am capable of waking up each day and doing my best for my kids.
What do you struggle with when it comes to comparing yourself to other families?
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Friday, November 14, 2014
Feeling secure
It's quite amazing how one can plan and plan as much of their lives as possible, but still have the feeling of insecurity. The feeling that something could change unexpectedly and turn your world upside down. This could be something great (like finding out your pregnant) or something devastating (like finding out you have cancer). They are both emotional in their own way and they are both something that you cannot precisely prepare yourself for. But once it enters into your life, it is up to you to know how to react.
Recently, my college roommate (of a mere 6 months) found out that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is 27 years old. I have been keeping up with her blog posts and have been inspired by her writing every day. She is raw, real, grounded, honest, and downright amazing. It has been a very long time since I've spoken with her in person, but the impact that she has had on my life is nothing small. She introduced me to a Jesus that I didn't know well. The bold, fierce side of Jesus that calls us to be more than what we currently are.
From a distance, I have watched her travel to parts of the world that make me jealous and do things that I could only dream of doing. I would consider myself quite the opposite of her. I moved back home, found my husband, and started a family while still in college. I did what I thought I was supposed to do and I stayed in my comfort zone. And now, from a distance, I am watching her battle something that no woman should have to battle and especially not alone. I keep wondering if there is something I can do for her from afar. What is it that she could really use that I could provide for her? Not much comes to mind whenever I think about it - except one. Prayer. God tells us to pray about everything. And when we do, he hears us. The best thing that I can be doing is praying for my distant friend and know that my prayers will reach her no matter where she is.
My prayer is for her recovery, Lord. Not just in her physical healing but in her heart as well. She is hurting and she needs hope. Bring her peace and understanding in time and know that her old self is not lost, only changed. Wrap your arms of comfort around her and I pray that she starts to feel better soon. I pray for test results to come back with good news so that she can join in the amazing mass of inspirational survivors. Lift her up God. Amen.
I still dream of traveling to far off places and experiencing even a fraction of what my friend has experienced. But for now I am content in the life that has been built for me. My adventures lay within the walls of my home in the form of a toddler and a husband :-) And that is enough for me....for now.
Recently, my college roommate (of a mere 6 months) found out that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is 27 years old. I have been keeping up with her blog posts and have been inspired by her writing every day. She is raw, real, grounded, honest, and downright amazing. It has been a very long time since I've spoken with her in person, but the impact that she has had on my life is nothing small. She introduced me to a Jesus that I didn't know well. The bold, fierce side of Jesus that calls us to be more than what we currently are.
From a distance, I have watched her travel to parts of the world that make me jealous and do things that I could only dream of doing. I would consider myself quite the opposite of her. I moved back home, found my husband, and started a family while still in college. I did what I thought I was supposed to do and I stayed in my comfort zone. And now, from a distance, I am watching her battle something that no woman should have to battle and especially not alone. I keep wondering if there is something I can do for her from afar. What is it that she could really use that I could provide for her? Not much comes to mind whenever I think about it - except one. Prayer. God tells us to pray about everything. And when we do, he hears us. The best thing that I can be doing is praying for my distant friend and know that my prayers will reach her no matter where she is.
My prayer is for her recovery, Lord. Not just in her physical healing but in her heart as well. She is hurting and she needs hope. Bring her peace and understanding in time and know that her old self is not lost, only changed. Wrap your arms of comfort around her and I pray that she starts to feel better soon. I pray for test results to come back with good news so that she can join in the amazing mass of inspirational survivors. Lift her up God. Amen.
I still dream of traveling to far off places and experiencing even a fraction of what my friend has experienced. But for now I am content in the life that has been built for me. My adventures lay within the walls of my home in the form of a toddler and a husband :-) And that is enough for me....for now.
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