Feeling secure

It's quite amazing how one can plan and plan as much of their lives as possible, but still have the feeling of insecurity.  The feeling that something could change unexpectedly and turn your world upside down.  This could be something great (like finding out your pregnant) or something devastating (like finding out you have cancer).  They are both emotional in their own way and they are both something that you cannot precisely prepare yourself for.  But once it enters into your life, it is up to you to know how to react.

Recently, my college roommate (of a mere 6 months) found out that she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is 27 years old.  I have been keeping up with her blog posts and have been inspired by her writing every day.  She is raw, real, grounded, honest, and downright amazing.  It has been a very long time since I've spoken with her in person, but the impact that she has had on my life is nothing small.  She introduced me to a Jesus that I didn't know well.  The bold, fierce side of Jesus that calls us to be more than what we currently are.

From a distance, I have watched her travel to parts of the world that make me jealous and do things that I could only dream of doing.  I would consider myself quite the opposite of her.  I moved back home, found my husband, and started a family while still in college.  I did what I thought I was supposed to do and I stayed in my comfort zone.  And now, from a distance, I am watching her battle something that no woman should have to battle and especially not alone.  I keep wondering if there is something I can do for her from afar.  What is it that she could really use that I could provide for her?  Not much comes to mind whenever I think about it - except one.  Prayer.  God tells us to pray about everything.  And when we do, he hears us.  The best thing that I can be doing is praying for my distant friend and know that my prayers will reach her no matter where she is.

My prayer is for her recovery, Lord.  Not just in her physical healing but in her heart as well.  She is hurting and she needs hope.  Bring her peace and understanding in time and know that her old self is not lost, only changed.  Wrap your arms of comfort around her and I pray that she starts to feel better soon.  I pray for test results to come back with good news so that she can join in the amazing mass of inspirational survivors.  Lift her up God.  Amen.

I still dream of traveling to far off places and experiencing even a fraction of what my friend has experienced.  But for now I am content in the life that has been built for me.  My adventures lay within the walls of my home in the form of a toddler and a husband :-)  And that is enough for me....for now.